kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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