What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
