drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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