Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
