Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Randomize
