btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just cut my nipple shaving
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
