some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
