He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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