i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
