Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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