How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
