i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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