do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
