He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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