Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
