ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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