Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
