As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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