I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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