Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
