i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
