I want to make a zoo with you.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
