i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
if i can run in heels then i can drive
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
