Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
