no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
