do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
