im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I AM VODKA MAN
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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