C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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