You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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