Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
