I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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