are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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