i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
