i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Oh god it's open bar.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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