So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
