What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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