Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
