Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
