Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
