At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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