6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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