i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
