is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
