Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
