Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
