There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
