im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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