Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
