just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
