The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
