is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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