I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
