nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
