you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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