I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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