I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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