erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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