Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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