he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize